


Breathe In

by DLanaDHZ



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Injured Eggsy, Internal Conflict, Love Confessions, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Roxy is the best Kingsman, Temporary Blindness, Worried Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 18:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19340500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DLanaDHZ/pseuds/DLanaDHZ
Summary: After the feed cut out, Harry didn’t know what to do. One minute, they were proudly watching Eggsy disarming a small army on a train in Norway. The next, Harry’s ears were ringing with the last sound Eggsy made – a shout of shock and then pain.-A landslide leaves Eggsy unaccounted for. Though Harry knows there's nothing he can do, he heads to Norway just in case. Under the rubble, Eggsy must rely on a friend for survival.





	Breathe In

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JessicaMDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaMDawn/gifts).



> JessicaMDawn and I got into a sudden and intense Kingsman kick. Then I asked her what she was looking for in a good fic and attempted to write it for her.
> 
> I do not know Swedish, so if you DO speak Swedish and my lines make no sense, please correct me so I can correct Tilde's lines.
> 
> I am also hugely unfamiliar with Norway. I did some research into distances, train lines, travel times, and hospital locations, but I would never recommend you use my fic as a reference for the actual country. Thank you!

After the feed cut out, Harry didn’t know what to do. One minute, they were proudly watching Eggsy disarming a small army on a train in Norway. The next, Harry’s ears were ringing with the last sound Eggsy made – a shout of shock and then pain.

 

Less than five minutes had passed since Harry had walked into the room. Everything had been fine. Harry had been a mix of bored and curious, so he’d let himself into the control room to see Merlin. That was a bit of lie. Harry had come to see Eggsy, but that didn’t sound as professional.

 

Eggsy was in Norway on a train from Oslo to Voss. Simple guard duty. Nothing too dangerous. Princess Tilde was in Oslo with her father on business, but for two days of the trip she wished to visit the ski slopes in Voss. Her father disapproved because of recent threats against the family. Prime Minister Lindstrom’s alliance with Valentine had been hushed in Sweden, but radical groups had uncovered the truth and blamed the entire Swedish government for playing a role in V-Day. The king would not give Tilde permission to visit Voss without special escort.

 

How lucky that Eggsy had given the woman his phone number.

 

Harry had stared in blatant disapproval while Merlin shouted at the young Kingsman about breeching their code of secrecy. For Eggsy’s part, he defended his actions to the end. Tilde and he had bonded at Valentine’s bunker, he said, and Merlin scoffed about the meaning of ‘bonded’ in this case. Eggsy was defensive all the way up until he saw Harry watching, and then it was as if all the fight left him. He hung his head, sighed, and quietly, somewhat pathetically, asked permission to be assigned as Tilde’s bodyguard for the two day trip.

 

“For a friend,” he said, eyes lowered in deference.

 

No one could stay mad at Eggsy when he made defeated faces like that, and so Merlin’s rage, and Harry’s disappointment, were abated. They made all the appropriate arrangements. It was a simple trip. They had a whisper of a possible plot, but it was a few armed men on a public transport. Eggsy would be able to handle them in a heartbeat, possibly without even alerting other passengers if he managed to keep his cool.

 

On Monday, Eggsy flew to Norway. Tuesday morning, he boarded the train with Princess Tilde in Oslo. Around Myrdal, over three-quarters of the way to their destination, the attack began. Five men barged into the car reserved for the Swedish princess and were met with immediate confrontation as Eggsy disarmed and incapacitated them. When the last gun clattered to the floor, Eggsy’s lenses stayed aimed at the back of a seat for a moment too long.

 

“Status, Galahad?" Merlin asked, trying to hack the security cameras on the train to assess the situation himself. They were a closed network, so hacking it wasn’t easy, but Eggsy’s glasses were in range, so he was trying to hop off that.

 

"Everything's fucking roses, Merlin," the young knight responded glibly. The view through his glasses shifted and showed a room of unconscious assailants. No broken chairs or tables, either. Very well executed. Harry smiled proudly at the screen.

 

“Good to hear. Looks like ya took out all the hostiles.” Merlin managed to get into the security feed, but he didn’t see any other suspicious activity. They had expected a small man team of no more than five, so this was exactly to plan.

  
“I may not be aces at maths, but I'd say so. Princess is alright. We-“

 

The transmission was overwhelmed by an intense rumble and the sound of clinking metal. Harry took an anxious step forward.

 

"What the fuck’s goin’ on now?" Eggsy said as he scanned the car. He'd taken 2 steps toward the darkened window near the mountain side when the train car rocked violently and he, and the princess, were thrown violently back. The whole car flipped onto its side.

 

"Galahad? What's-?" Merlin began.

 

The princess screamed in alarm. The video showed the side of the train, now the roof, caving under pressure. A bolder crashed half into view through the cracking wall. Eggsy cursed loudly.

 

“Galahad!” Harry shouted, stepping close to the monitor just as the rest of the train wall split open. Too late! Eggy’s camera rolled sideways.

 

There was a shout of pain that was too manly to be Tilde. The transmission went black.

 

Merlin and Harry stared in shock, temporarily frozen. Then Merlin pressed his comms button like it could launch a missile strike.

 

"Galahad? Galahad, do you read me?... Eggsy!" Not even static answered him. Merlin shook his head. He cursed. "Ah, his glasses must have broken. Damn."

 

"Was that a rock slide of some sort?" Harry’s eyes scanned the rest of the images, all shots from the security cameras Merlin had managed to hack into. He felt cold to his core.

 

Without Eggsy’s glasses, the signal was ruined, but they had the final images of each camera frozen before them. Passengers clinging to chair backs and scrambling for family members and children as the train overturned. Sections being crushed by the falling rocks and trapping people in darkness.

 

“Looks to be. I'll round up local agents to head that way while I check satellite surveillance.” He tapped away on his tablet. Images, grainy at first but growing clearer, appeared on the monitor. “Oh that's not good.”

 

On the screen, Eggsy's train was obvious along its track through the mountains. The red cars stood out along the white landscape of the mountain where the train had been brought to a halt. The front car had escaped the landslide that now engulfed the following four carriages, including the first passenger car that had been rented out for the princess of Sweden.

 

“My God,” Merlin murmured. “I’ve not seen a landslide that bad in- well, ever.”

 

“Have you deployed an agent?” Harry asked, snapping Merlin back into action.

 

The Scottish man cleared his throat. “Local authorities are already dispatching their own emergency units. Lancelot is en route for Myrdal on her return from Poland. Should arrive in two hours, max.”

 

Too long, Harry thought. “How soon can the jet be ready to fly?”

 

Merlin stopped tapping away and turned to face his friend. “Harry,” he said in a warning tone. “Tell me you’re not thinking of popping over to Norway to risk your life in a landslide.”

 

“Okay, I won’t,” Harry replied easily, face empty of any guilt.

 

Merlin groaned. “Harry, you’re not a knight anymore. You’re Arthur. Ya can’t just go gallivanting into an active field whenever the urge hits. Anyway, it’ll take you at least the same two hours to get there.” He motioned to the screen. “I know it looks bad, but we trained Eggsy well. And Lancelot is our best new recruit, no offense to Galahad. She can handle this.”

 

Harry kept a stiff upper lip. “You can try to stop me, but you won’t succeed.” A smirk tugged on his mouth. “After all, Arthur was once a knight too.”

\---- ---- ----

 

Breathe in.

 

Even after he opened his eyes, everything was dark. Or at least mostly dark. When he groaned, a shaking hand grabbed his arm. Instinct told him to grab his assailant right back and flip them over his shoulder, but his hand barely closed around the other's wrist before he felt so dizzy he wanted to throw up.

 

"No. Don't move, Eggsy." He recognized the voice.

 

"Princess?" He asked and moved his hand off hers to hold his head. "Wuz happened?"

 

"Landslide." She gently touched his cheek, an almost fond gesture. "You're hurt. Just stay still until help comes."

 

Eggsy's head ached but he remembered the boulder crashing through the wall and right for his face. What a fuckin miracle he wasn't dead. He closed his eyes then blinked several times. He barely noticed a difference.

 

"Ey. Did the lights get busted in the crash? Why's everything so dark?" He asked. Once his head stopped spinning, he wasn't waiting for no rescue services. He'd get them out on his own.

 

Tilde was quiet for a moment too long, long enough that Eggsy grew a little bit nervous.

 

"Wot?" he asked. A ball of panic was quickly forming. He let out a nervous chuckle. "You ain't about to tell me it's bright in here, are you?"

 

Tilde shook beside him. "No," she said, quiet. Some of his panic receded. "Not bright. But... half the lights are still working. Eggsy." She paused and Eggsy heard her moving. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

 

Not good. Eggsy didn't even see her hand, just a vague movement somewhere above his head, a shadow in front of another shadow.

 

"Fuck me," he breathed out. He reached up blindly for where he'd seen the movement and found her hand, then he clutched it tight. A lump was growing in his throat. "Um. I'm sure it's temporary, yeah? I'll be right as rain in a jiff. So don't worry, luv. Alright?"

 

When she spoke, Tilde sounded tight with anxiety. "Alright." She took a deep breath and closed her other hand tight around Eggsy's raised one. Her next words were more certain. "What do you need me to do?"

 

God, if Eggsy wasn't already gone on someone, he'd fall in love with Tilde right now. A perfect fuckin princess.  
\---- ---- ----  
  
The jet was in the air twenty minutes after the landslide rocked the train. Lancelot would arrive half an hour earlier than Harry, but that was alright. Harry was en route. That's what mattered.

 

Staring out the window at the ocean beneath them, Harry absently traced the scar running through his eye. Eggsy teased him that he looked like a man contemplating revenge whenever he did this, but it was an unconscious motion Harry couldn't seem to free himself of. He'd apologized about it once, but Eggsy laughed him off.

 

"Nah, Harry. It makes you look like a sexy Bond villain. Work it."

 

"Gentlemen do not 'work it', Eggsy," Harry had sighed, but secretly he enjoyed the comment.

 

"Yeah, but spies do." Eggsy had winked. Harry had melted a little bit.

 

There was something undeniably likeable in that young man that had Harry allowing things he'd normally never let stand. Like showing up to work dressed like a chav. Or leaving your dog with your boss while you went away on a mission. Or putting your feet up on chairs while filling out mission reports. Or choosing pizza as your late night food order in the office over, quite honestly, anything else.

 

"Does your scar hurt?" Merlin asked, approaching Harry's chair on the jet.

 

Harry made a short noise of dismissal. "Just got a bit lost in my thoughts."

 

Nodding, Merlin took the seat across from him. "Lancelot's just landed. We'll have an update by the time we touch down. My hope is she'll have our man out of that pile of rock before we even get our hands dirty." He looked Harry over, saw that his boss was touching his scar again, and sighed. "Is everything alright, Harry? You know... you've seen knights get out of worse, right?"

 

"And I've seen them not." Harry stopped touching his eye and stared hard at his friend with his one good eye.

 

Many times over the years, Merlin would tell Harry to get over his concerns about the danger on a mission and assume that he was relating any near-death experience of a colleague to the accident that killed Lee Unwin. He’d made no such assumptions since Eggsy’s addition to Kingsman, but the current situation was too similar to ignore the comparison.

 

Merlin frowned deeply. "Is this about his father? You feel guilty somehow? 'Cause I know his history well as you, you know, and you already saved him from an early death and-"

 

"No," Harry said, cutting him off. "Eggsy is a man who can take care of himself. I repaid my debt to his father when I saved Eggsy from prison. Everything else was just..." He sighed softly, thinking back to his small meeting with Eggsy before the young man had flown off to Norway. "Everything else was just a bonus, I suppose."

 

Merlin rubbed a hand over his mouth, deep in thought. Usually Harry enjoyed stumping the man, but he worried today that his friend would see right through him. No amount of gentlemanly calm could fool Merlin when the man was on a mission.

 

"Then-" He hesitated, concern drawing his eyebrows close together. "Did something happen in your office after we approved the mission? You say something too harsh in hindsight?"

 

Sharp as a needle, that Merlin. Harry glanced out the window. Land was appearing beneath them.

 

"I perhaps said something I shouldn't have. But it doesn't really matter at this point." He nodded with determination. "Right now, we need to get him home alive. Then I can deal with my own inadequacies."

 

Though Merlin didn't say it, Harry heard it loud and echoing in his mind. 'How will you deal if we can't bring him home?' Honestly Merlin didn't say it because he couldn't possibly know it needed to be said. He hadn't been in the office with them. He had no idea.

 

The Scottish agent nodded and rose from his seat. He gave Harry a last long look before returning to the cabin to bring them in for a landing. Harry counted the minutes. One hundred forty five minutes. Nearly two and a half hours since Eggsy went offline.  
\---- ---- ----  
  
Not a lot happened in two hours when you were trapped in a train carriage. Nothing except the temperature dropping, perhaps. The break in the carriage was completely filled in by the landslide, but snow had still come in with the dirt, according to Tilde, and the temperature inside reflected that. Nothing the two people inside couldn’t handle, of course.

 

Sitting up hurt like a bitch. Tilde helped stabilize Eggsy in a sitting position, but there was only so much she could do. She'd given him a description of his injures, the ones she could see anyway, and Eggsy had decided not to tell her about the one injury she missed – the terrible ache in his chest, probably a busted rib.

 

In the cave in, he had tucked the princess into a corner, pinned against the seat backs by Eggsy's body. This meant she got out with a few minor cuts from falling pebbles and Eggsy took the brunt of the force. His suit had somewhat protected him, but he had at least one bruised rib and an impressive amount of scratches on his exposed skin that stung like paper cuts in alcohol. He felt blood sticking the side of his head by the temple, which he suspected was the cause of his blindness.

 

Temporary blindness. Because fuck all if he was gonna accept even the notion that he might be blind for the rest of his life. Blind people didn't work as spies.

 

Tilde propped him up against the wall, well against the roof that was now a wall, and went to find a first aid kit. Eggsy told her there was bound to be one. There were no windows or doors not blocked by the debris, but every carriage should have a first aid kit. She returned a moment later with alcohol wipes and bandages, and Eggsy most certainly did not wince every time she cleaned a new cut.

 

Gently, Eggsy reached up and touched the side of his eyes. The first thing Eggsy had asked Tilde to do was make him a blindfold. Eye injuries were serious business and blinking could make them worse. A blindfold would keep his eyes closed. Eggsy was blind, but he knew the sound of Tilde tearing the bottom of her skirt. The silky fabric felt good against his cut skin, but he had the decency to feel bad about her clothes.

 

Touching the fabric, he couldn't help but entertain the idea of never seeing color or light again. He'd never see Roxy or his mum, Daisy or Merlin. He'd never see Harry. God, he missed Harry too much all of a sudden and mourned the loss of seeing him prematurely. What if he never got to see Harry in civ clothes again? Or got to watch and mimic him in etiquette lessons? Or, shit, just watch him in general?

 

"Stop frowning so much. You'll ruin your pretty face," Tilde scolded, putting on the last bandage. "All done. Now how do we get out of here?”

 

She was so sure of his abilities, more so than Eggsy was at the moment. But her accent was comforting in its ‘otherness’. Eggsy focused on that while his torso ached. “I-I don’t know.” He clenched his fists. He hadn’t felt this useless since he lived with Dean. Scratch that. Since he’d watched Harry get shot. “I can’t see what my options are, an’ I don’t think I can stand neither.”

 

Tilde made a sound of disagreement in her nose. “No. You are a, what did you say? A King’s Man? Does a King’s Man give up so easily? You must have some kind of resource.”

 

Eggsy doubted a stun dart from his watch would help, and he wouldn’t dare try to use a grenade when he couldn’t verify the stability of the ground around him. He could cause a worse landslide or the explosion could flood the carriage and incinerate them both. Bulletproof clothes and umbrellas wouldn’t do much good here either. He groaned.

 

“Shit. Sorry. My head is well spinnin’. I think I have a concussion or somethin’.” He took a deep breath but winced when it hurt. He’d definitely bruised a rib. Maybe broken with how much it ached. “Damn. If only I could- Hey! Tilde! I mean Princess! Do you see my glasses anywhere?”

 

He couldn’t see her, but the sound she made was a pitying one. “Oh, Eggsy. I don’t think glasses are going to help your eyes right now.”

 

He shook his head, though it made him dizzier. “No. They’re a communicator. If they’re not broken, we may be able to contact my friends.”

 

Tilde gasped in surprise and then excitement. “You stay here,” she ordered, clambering away from him. He heard pebbles and rocks shifting as she moved around, searching the rubble. “I will find them.”

 

Eggsy smiled, but his dizziness faded into a strange grogginess, so he couldn’t hold the expression. “Good on you, Princess.” He gently laid his hand across his abdomen and winced again. Tender. That couldn’t be good. Was he talking slower than normal? “We work together and we’ll be outta here in no time at all. You’ll see.”

 

Hopefully Merlin had called in reinforcements for this, because Eggsy was starting to feel like consciousness was overrated, and that also couldn’t be good. He breathed as deep as he could and tried to calm his racing heart.

 

Tilde continued shifting rubble and broken tables around, searching for Eggy’s glasses, but for a moment Eggsy forgot about that plan. In his head, he was back at HQ in Harry’s office, just before he left. His lips quirked up, then down.

 

“I don’t understand you sometimes, Eggsy. Giving the princess of Sweden you phone number just because you had a one-night stand with her? Did you forgot you were a spy?” Harry’s scolding was so much quieter than Merlin’s but just as rife with disappointment.

 

“I told ya, I didn’t shag her,” Eggsy defended. “Alls we did was talk.”

 

Harry sniffed in disbelief. “That’s not what Merlin saw.”

 

“Well, I mean yeah. We got naked, Harry, I’m not gonna lie.” Eggsy was standing in front of that stupidly large oak desk, wishing it would disappear so there was nothing between them. “But I swears we didn’t do nothin. I got, I dunno, nervous when it came down to it. The princess saw the hesitation, and then we just ended up chattin it up for a bit.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just let Merlin believe we slept together for the cred.”

 

“The cred?” Harry asked, dubious. His eyebrow could hardly rise any higher.

 

“I dunno. _He_ seemed impressed.” Eggsy shrugged again. His heart beat in his throat as words came out that he hadn’t intended to say. “But I’m tellin you the truth. I don’t want you to be jealous of nothin’.”

 

Across the desk, Harry went rigid. “Jealous?” he asked. “Why would I be jealous?”

 

It felt like all Eggsy could do was shrug. He’d started digging, and his brain seemed unable to divert the conversation onto more even ground. “Dunno. I was just thinkin’ how jealous I’d be if our places was switched, that’s all. You with someone else, I mean. Not that we’re together or nuthin’. Just, you know, hypothetically.”

 

Silence took over the office, save for the tick of the grandfather clock in the corner. Harry only kept the damn thing out of respect for its craftsmanship. Eggsy knew for a fact that Harry loathed the thing because the old Arthur was the one to commission it. There was a ball in Eggy’s throat as he waited to hear how Harry would take such a statement. It was as close to confessing as Eggsy had ever come. As nerve wracking as it was, Eggsy tried not to let his anxiety show on his face.

 

Finally, Harry let out a long breath. “My dear boy,” he began, and Eggsy felt warmed. He loved hearing that phrase. “A gentleman never admits to jealousy of that kind. I would advise you… It would be best not to say things like that.”

 

All warm feelings left Eggsy in an instant. There was no doubt that Harry understood his meaning, that he liked Harry as more than a mentor or colleague, but this answer was far from the one Eggsy had wished for. He’d been so sure that the signs proved his feelings were returned. He’d taken classes on reading body language, so how on earth had he gotten this wrong?

 

“It is highly inappropriate,” Harry finished, no longer looking at his protégé. That dismissal hurt almost more than the words.

 

Eggsy swallowed down his disappointment and tried to seem unaffected. “I hear ya, Harry. No problem.” He waved a hand as though to clear the air when Harry finally looked back at him. “Not a cross word about whom either of us is shaggin’ or jealousy of any kind. Forget I brought it up.”

 

Harry’s face looked pinched. “Eggsy,” he began, but Eggsy shook his head to cut him off.

 

“Got a plane to catch, Boss. See you on the other side, yeah?” He turned and ran.

 

Well, he walked, but it sure felt like running. It felt dark. It felt like slipping away. It felt like-

 

Someone shook him and he jolted to full consciousness. His eyes tried to open but his eyelashes hit the blindfold and he shut them once more. Recollection hit him and he gasped.

 

“Tilde?” His hands flew up blindly.

 

The princess grabbed on instantly. “You scared me, Kingsman. You weren’t responding, and- and you look too pale.”

 

Breathing felt like such a struggle, and his mind failed to come up with any reason why that would be. Broken ribs didn’t get worse unless they were moving, and he wasn’t moving. He wheezed slightly, then his throat seized up and he coughed hard. Spit dribbled from his lips but he ached too bad to care. His chest felt tender and swollen and he wasn’t even touching it.

 

In front of him, Tilde gasped, releasing him.

 

Wearily, Eggsy took another struggled breath. “Wot?” he asked, his accent thicker with fatigue.

 

“Eggsy,” Tilde said in a breath. She reached out and touched just beside the spit on his lip. “You’re bleeding.”

 

His mind might have felt foggy, but those words cut right through to him. He frowned and wiped at his mouth as though he’d be able to look down at his wrist and verify her words. Blood? Chest pain? An inability to focus?

 

“Ah, fuck,” he cursed, breathless. He waved his hand until Tilde took it up again, then he tried to look where her face should be. “Did you find the glasses?”

 

He needed to get in contact with Merlin hours ago. He needed rescue immediately.

\---- ---- ---- 

It wasn’t every day that Harry Hart felt useless. In most situations he had some modicum of control. Not in this one. Despite his insistence to come to Norway, extra agents really did nothing for the predicament.

 

The landslide was being slowly worked on by local first responders and dig crews, several of which gave curious glances at the three finely dressed agents hovering near the edge of the scene. According to Lancelot, the workers were clearing away the debris from the outside and working their way in, which was a logical approach but not one that would quickly help their friend.

 

Three hours into the rescue, all passengers in unaffected carriages had been evacuated and one of the buried carriages was accessible and beginning to empty. Another set of emergency crews were on their way from the next town, but it would be a further thirty-three minutes until they arrived on scene. The whole process was entirely too slow, but there was no way for Harry to speed it up. Beside him, Roxy was just as harried and frustrated that she was useless.

 

“He’s under there somewhere. If would could just know where, somehow, then maybe we could start shifting the bigger debris to get to him faster,” she said. If they went in blind, they could cause another cave in, or worse Eggsy might be pinned under debris already and they could further bury him.

 

A whirring sound drew both of their attentions and they saw a drone whizzing toward the train. Merlin tapped his tablet a few times and the drone dropped lower to the wreck.

 

“I suspected _you_ didn’t actually have a plan,” he said in a lightly scolding tone while giving his boss and friend a side long look. Then he was squinting between the tablet and the drone ahead. “But right on target, Lancelot. This drone can scan the wreckage to find which parts of the train are caved in and which are structurally sound, and it has a heat sensor to see where the passengers are.”

 

“Merlin, you absolute bloody genius,” Harry murmured fondly. After all the man’s talk about how they shouldn’t go to Norway, he’d brought along a full plan of action. Harry could kiss him. But he wouldn’t, obviously.

 

Roxy and Harry crowded in around the tablet to see the scans. Eggsy should be in the third carriage, just behind the engineering carriage and the locomotive. Merlin’s drone showed the engineering carriage first, two heat signatures and one odd half-dark spot that didn’t fit in with the layout of the train. Harry realized they were seeing a dead body, still partially warm. He swallowed thickly as the drone continued.

 

The first passenger carriage was hit the hardest by the landslide. That much was clear. The front bit had caved in entirely so that it registered as a mass of mostly black on the scan – nothing but earth and rocks and some very light green spots suggesting snow. Debris littered the rest of the compartment to some degree, but there! There was a lot of heat in that carriage.

 

“I thought it was just Eggsy and the princess,” Roxy said, confusion all over her face. “What’s the rest of that?”

 

“Eggsy fought off five armed assailants just prior to the landslide,” Merlin explained efficiently. “Looks like he left them alive after all. I count… six or seven bodies. Six would mean someone didn’t make it.”

 

“Let’s count on seven then,” Harry grunted and looked back up at the wreck. Eggsy was in there and he wasn’t dead, because Eggsy couldn’t die like this. In a hail of glorious bullets, perhaps, but not from an act of nature. And definitely not before Harry could speak with him properly.

 

Back on the screen, the drone shifted and started scanning from different angles. The bodies were strewn around haplessly, but two stood out. One was against the wall, sitting where the majority of bodies were lying around, and one that must be crouching because it took up less space.

 

“That’s them,” Merlin announced with all the enthusiasm of a dying cat. Honestly, must the man act like this was a funeral? “Blast, if only I could see what was actually happening inside.”

 

Roxy shook her head and pointed at the scans. “This is brilliant, Merlin. I’ll go alert the crews. If we come in from this side, it’ll break up the debris between the carriages so no one gets hurt and then we’ll have access to the doors on both.” She moved with frenetic energy as she hurried away from the two older men.

 

Merlin hummed happily. “Gosh, I remember when I had that kind of spark.”

 

He looked over at Harry for a moment of camaraderie, but Harry’s eyes were on the tablet still. The crouching figure was all wrong to be Eggsy. It was hard to tell from a drone scan, but he would bet his life that the crouched one was Princess Tilde and the sitting one was Eggsy.

 

The sitting made Harry nervous. The Eggsy he knew would be trying to dig his way out, trying to bang open doors, trying to hotwire the wifi to get a signal out somehow. The Eggsy he knew wouldn’t be sitting passively. Not his Eggsy. Not in this lifetime. Not his Eggsy.

 

In that moment, he couldn’t be sure if he was stating a fact or praying.

 

“Harry,” Merlin called gently, gaining his friend’s attention. Merlin’s face was pinched with concern, much the way Harry was certain his own looked. The only difference was who the concern was for. “Harry, what on Earth-?” Merlin pressed his lips together and sighed. “Would you care to fill me in? If not as your coworker, then as your oldest friend?”

 

“Not particularly,” Harry admitted. He didn’t think he could properly put into words what he was dealing with, not without speaking to Eggsy once more. He’d planned to have a proper discussion with the young man when he returned from babysitting the Princess of Sweden, but now he worried he wouldn’t get the chance.

 

Merlin placed a hand gently on his friend’s shoulder. “Harry, please.”

 

By the train, Lancelot looked commanding and official, and it appeared she had managed with very little effort to convince the diggers to move where she wanted. She was a brilliant operative. Definitely better than Eggsy. No offense, Harry thought with some amusement. Then he frowned at the scene.

 

“I’m too old,” he muttered.

 

“Hogwash,” Merlin defended immediately. “You’re a knight, remember? Fighting fit.”

 

Harry shook his head and felt disappointment washing over him. “I’m fifty-three years-old, Merlin.” He finally looked back at his friend.

 

“And I’m fifty. What’s that got to do with anything?” He held up his tablet lamely. “We’re both still damn good at our jobs.”

 

“I’m twenty-eight years older than him,” Harry clarified with some annoyance. He couldn’t bring himself to come right out and say it. He’d been fighting thinking about it for so long that it was second nature to avoid the topic.

 

Merlin was brilliant, though, and it only took him a moment to catch on. His mouth formed a small ‘O’ and his eyebrows rose high into his non-existent hairline. “Is tha’ what this is all about, then? You’re worried about him as more than a colleague? I mean, that’s fine. I’m not judging. I’m just asking if he knows about your feelings.”

 

Sighing in aggravation, Harry said, “That’s not the point, Merlin. I’m-”

 

“It’s exactly the point,” Merlin countered before Harry could continue. His eyebrows drew low and serious. “My parents weren’t conventional either. Nearly thirty years between them, just like you and our man Galahad. It’s not unheard of, Harry. Galahad is, as I said, a _man_. He’s fully capable of making grown ass decisions. Age isn’t the problem here. So I ask again – Does Eggsy know how you feel about him?”

 

Strange. It was so strange. Age had been the main factor in Harry’s avoidance, and it had seemed like such an important obstacle. Yet here was Merlin, making it all sound so meaningless. In his words he made ignoring age sound as logical as Harry had made giving it significance sound. The subversion left Harry feeling a little winded.

 

“No,” he answered honestly in his surprise. “No, I told him those feelings were inappropriate.”

 

“Wait. What? So you did tell him? Or you didn’t?” Merlin squinted at Harry as though that would give him subtitles and context for what he was hearing.

 

“I didn’t. He… _He_ told _me_ ,” Harry clarified. Lazily he motioned in the vague direction of England. “Back in my office, before he left.”

 

Merlin covered his face with a wide hand and groaned. “Harry, you complete and ignorant twat.”

 

The jibe almost made Harry feel affronted, like maybe he should have some pride and defend himself, but he suddenly felt like he deserved it. That and an image had randomly popped up on his lenses and distracted him. The image must have appeared on Merlin’s glasses as well, because the other man froze too.

 

Video. Of Eggsy. Not from Eggsy’s point of view, but literally of the agent.

 

The video was disjointed and discolored, signs of a pair of broken glasses, but it was there. He looked vulnerable – blindfolded and slumped over. He made no movement to suggest he knew he was being broadcast.

 

Audio, equally rubbish, accompanied the jumping image.

 

“-ello?-….work?” It was definitely Princess Tilde. “... –elp! Ple-… -omething wrong wi–… dying?”

 

Harry clenched his fists and Merlin looked over at him anxiously. Up by the train, Roxy had raised a hand to her lenses and looked as serious as a statue.

 

“ –ggsy? Eggsy!” The Princess was shouting, but it still took a moment for the young man to move on the video. Slowly, between jumping frames, he shifted his head and raised a hand. Tilde grabbed it tight. “Stanna... mig!” Swedish, perhaps? Then she began speaking rapidly, not always in English and barely understandable even when she was. Harry got the point, however. She didn’t know how to use the glasses. She was just trying to keep Eggsy focused and conscious.

 

Not a promising transmission.

 

By the train, Roxy began waving to workers and shouting orders. She moved rapidly down the tracks until she stood roughly near where Eggsy should be. Even from this distance, Harry could see her gently placing her hand on the snow hardened earth that lay between her and her best friend.

 

They didn’t have comms open between the three of them, but Harry sort of wished they did, because he wanted to know what Roxy said to the workers. The men were suddenly doubling their efforts, moving quickly with diggers and shovels to the junction point between the first two passenger carriages. Perhaps she had mentioned the Princess of Sweden.

 

Harry’s attention was so focused on the work and on the small video feed still streaming in the corner of his lenses, that Merlin’s hand on his shoulder startled him into flinching. The bald man’s eyes were sympathetic.

 

“He’s alive,” Merlin murmured, as if Harry might not have noticed. “We’re gonna get to ‘im in time.”

 

“Pray your right, my friend,” Harry murmured back. Eggsy didn’t look like he had much time to spare. It had been two hundred and four minutes since the landslide. If Eggsy was bleeding out somehow, every minute was against him. “Fucking hell.” Harry ran a hand roughly through his hair and let out a heavy breath. He was too old for this kind of stress.

 

And Eggsy was too young.

\--- --- ---

 

Eggsy didn’t understand a word coming out of Tilde’s mouth. Part of him was certain she wasn’t speaking English, which was silly since he didn’t speak Swedish. Part of him just didn’t have the focus to understand words even if he wanted to. And he was so cold, like he was lying in the snow that had caved in on them.

 

Every so often – was it minutes or seconds? – Tilde would squeeze his hand to hold his attention, but it wasn’t helping as much as it once had. Eggsy had begun rapidly losing focus since right before he started explaining how to use the glasses. He wasn’t even completely sure he’d finished that explanation, to be honest.

 

“Sorry,” he said in a soft breath. He wasn’t talking to Tilde. He was talking to… “Harry.”

 

Sorry he’d made that office visit super uncomfortable. He hadn’t meant to. Bringing up his feelings had been a total accident, and he’d take it back if Harry agreed to pretend it never happened. Or maybe they could use an amnesia dart. Did those work for conversations from two days ago?

 

He just didn’t want things to be awkward between them from now on. He didn’t want Harry to avoid him or get uncomfortable when they were alone together. He didn’t want Harry assuming Eggsy was thinking inappropriate things whenever they were around each other. Sometimes he was, yeah, but that was natural. He was a healthy and hormonal twenty-five-year-old. Not that all twenty-five-year-olds were horny, but Eggsy sure was, just not all the time. He didn’t plan on jumping Harry’s bones every five minutes if Harry accepted his feelings. He was a gentleman now, and besides he had mad respect for other people and their needs. There was way more to do in a relationship than just fuck, after all.

 

But that was way behind the times. Harry had rejected Eggsy’s feelings, and that was the point. He didn’t want Eggsy, so no matter how horny or hormonal Eggsy was he wouldn’t be forcing himself on Harry. That’s what he wanted Harry to know. Things could be normal between them. Things didn’t have to change.

 

“-sy!” He heard Tilde for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. He groaned because he was too tired for speech. “They’re here, Eggsy. Just hold on. Stanna hos mig. Stanna… Stay with me. Stay for Harry, remember?”

 

“-arry,” Eggsy moaned out – more of a slow vomit of letters than actual speech, really. But Tilde latched onto them.

 

“Yes! Yes, Harry! You’ll see Harry soon! Just don’t sleep.”

 

But everything was dark and heavy and Eggsy really couldn’t keep his mind on anything happening around him. He barely felt the hands on him, and he didn’t hear the voices at all. It was a lot like being under water, really. A lot of distant bass and swishing sensations.

 

In the ebb and flow of his own ocean, he even forgot to hold on to Harry.

\--- --- ---

 

Some parts of being a spy were monotonous, entire weeks of missions blurring into the same repetitive day. Stakeouts and repeated lies and the same gray suit.

 

Some parts haunted you forever. Like Lee Unwin covering a grenade or being shot in the face. Or seeing Eggsy Unwin, strapped to an emergency gurney and completely unconscious, being loaded into a medical helicopter and rushed off to the nearest hospital.

 

He was pale and unresponsive, and Harry felt weak in the wake of the helicopter’s blades. With Merlin and Roxy at his sides, he watched the helicopter fade into the sky.

 

“Ta dina händer av mig!” The sound tugged on Harry’s ear and pulled him around to find the Princess of Sweden shaking off paramedics and heading in their direction. “Harry?” she asked as she got close. Her eyes flickered between Harry and Merlin. “Kingsman, yes? Which one of you is Harry?”

 

Astute, wasn’t she? Harry inclined his head to her. “Your highness,” he greeted. “I’m pleased you made it out largely unharmed.”

 

She shook her head harshly. “Nej. I’m not here to discuss myself.” She motioned behind Harry, where the helicopter had taken off from. “I’m here to discuss–” Suddenly she eyed Roxy and Merlin warily. She took a slow breath and then spoke softer. “May we have a moment of privacy, Mr. Harry?”

 

The three kingsmen shared a few glances back and forth before Merlin shrugged and beckoned for Roxy to move off to the side with him. Harry nodded at Tilde. “You have it,” he said.

 

Tilde nodded as well. “Back in Valentine’s bunker,” she began and Harry felt his stomach go sour. He really didn’t want to hear about Eggsy’s dalliance with the royal, even if Eggsy claimed it was all innocuous. “I met a broken man.” Well that was not how Harry expected that sentence to end.

 

“I’m sorry?” he asked, brow knitting. Did she mean-

 

“I am talking of Eggsy, of course.” She nodded. “He came in with champagne and eagerness, but the moment our lips met, he changed. He apologized because he knew I wanted him, but he had remembered something tragic and could not continue with me.” She placed a hand over her heart and Harry saw the new bandages over her scrapes standing out in stark contrast to her pale skin. “I bring this up because he was speaking of your death. You occupied his mind and his heart then, when he stood in victory over that madman and with me lying in front of him.”

 

Harry swallowed thickly. He hadn’t realized-

 

“And now again. There is something wrong with him. I know he is dying, though I don’t know how. He is dying,” she repeated with conviction, her eyes growing wet with unshed tears. “And he spoke of you. You know what he said? He said he was sorry.”

 

She sounded angry, and Harry frowned in response. “I’m sorry too, Princess. We were doing everything we could out here. We got to him as quickly as possible. He’s in the doctors’ hands now. I would ask you not to give up on him just yet.”

 

“I’m not,” Tilde said forcefully. “I’m saying this so that you know.” She inhaled sharply but let it out slow. “Someone loved so much – … I needed you to know.”

 

For a long moment, the two shared an intense stare. The princess was a steadfast woman, and had Eggsy chosen her Harry could see them fitting nicely together. His sometimes rash nature could be tempered by her staunch and strict breeding. Her sweetness was evident in her eagerness to share Eggsy’s pure feelings with Harry, and for a moment Harry wished Eggsy _had_ chosen her instead. She was ten years older than Eggsy, but it was still a smaller gap and she was a good woman.

 

Then the moment passed.

 

Harry closed his eyes to center himself and then bowed to her. “Thank you kindly, your highness.” When he stood again, he did his best to smile gently at her. He motioned over her shoulder. “You’ve done all you can for Eggsy and for us. Now please allow the paramedics to tend to you. Your father will be quite worried.”

 

Tilde continued to stare him, sizing him up and trying to convey some sort of feeling into him with her gaze, for another few moments. Then she nodded curtly, smiled tightly, and left him standing alone.

 

Nothing was different now that Harry knew the truth – that Eggsy had not been lying about not sleeping with the princess. Nothing had changed by knowing Eggsy’s hint at feelings was a true confession. Nothing was different, except that Harry felt everything more intensely. Eggsy had to survive this, because Harry needed to speak with him. Intimately.

 

Over the communicator in his glasses, Harry got word that a car was waiting at the base of the mountain to take them to Bergen. The closest hospital was Voss, but Eggsy’s injuries were too advanced, so the helicopter was flying him to Bergen. It would take the helicopter just under an hour. It would take Harry and Roxy over three by car. Merlin, in the jet, would arrive roughly half an hour after Eggsy, and only because he had to do paperwork once he touched down.

 

With a deep, steadying breath, Harry headed down the mountain toward the road. They had a long day ahead of them.

\--- --- ---

 

Breathe in.

 

Everything was dark. He was so fucking tired of everything being dark. He wasn’t dead, but maybe he really was blind. Maybe that was just as bad. The thought had him shaking. He didn’t want to be blind. And he didn’t want to die. God, he’d never felt so childish, but he was begging in his mind to anything or anyone that would listen.

 

A hand covered his own and he gasped in a deep breath.

 

A bed? He was lying down, not sitting up as he remembered, and though it wasn’t as comfortable as his bed at home, he was definitely lying on a bed of some sort. It wasn’t cold like the train, and the silence was different. With sudden awareness, he recognized that he was not in his suit and he felt horribly exposed.

 

“Take it easy, Eggsy.” It was Harry. Wait. It was Harry?

 

“Have I died then?” he asked, trying to sound lighthearted but probably failing. He tried to move but Harry gently pressed a hand to his shoulder and kept him down.

 

“Stay down, you fool,” he said fondly. “No, you are not dead. Despite your best efforts, I’m sure. And Princess Tilde is in perfect health as well. In fact, only two people perished on that train today – an unfortunate engineer and one of the men you had already taken care of.”

 

He couldn’t sit up, but Eggsy could still move his arms. Something felt stuck in his arm, like an IV. Actually it probably was an IV, now that he thought about it. He raised his fingers up to brush against Tilde’s makeshift blindfold, except there was no silk around his eyes anymore. It was some kind of cotton bandage now.

 

“This a hospital then,” he said, though it was worded as a question. “How long have I been out?”

 

With a hum, Harry considered. “Five hundred and fifty six minutes since the helicopter flew off with you.”

 

“You taking the piss?” Eggsy asked, trying to give Harry an unimpressed eyebrow but realizing too late that his eyebrows were covered by the bandages. Well damn.

 

Harry let out a soft and fond chuckle. “A little over nine hours,” he clarified. “Including your surgery. Your external injuries were relatively minor, but you took quite a hit from the rocks. The blunt force trauma left you with a nasty internal bleed in your chest and abdomen, but they managed to find and stop it in time. You’ve only been in your recovery room for about an hour, which is why I will not be letting you sit up. You need to rest. It will be some time before all of the soreness and bruising fades.”

 

His thumb was gently caressing the back of Eggsy’s hand, and the motion made Eggsy’s chest feel too tight. Or maybe that was the stitches from his surgery. God, Eggsy wished he could see Harry’s face. It was murder not knowing if he was hallucinating or if Harry looked as fond as he sounded.

 

“Oi, did they say anything about my- my eyes?” He touched the bandage again. “I couldn’t see nothin’ on the train.”

 

Harry hummed. “Well now. Why don’t we remove that wrap and find out?”

 

Harry’s hands joined Eggsy’s on the bandage, but Eggsy stopped him from pulling it off. “No. What if–” He hesitated then cursed. “Fuck. Harry, what if–”

 

He couldn’t say it.

 

Harry let out a pitying sound. “My dear boy,” he began, and Eggsy felt the familiar warmth brought on by those words, especially in such a soft tone. “No matter the squall, Kingsman will never abandon you.” He paused, and Eggsy felt the back of the man’s fingers as he brushed them gently down over Eggsy’s cheekbone. “ _I_ will never abandon you. Especially not over something as silly as eyesight. After all, you have done the same for me.”

 

Losing one eye was different than losing both, Eggsy wanted to say. I’m a sucker for punishment, he’d add. Except none of that made it out of his mouth, because Harry’s touch had muted him, and then Harry was removing the bandage and Eggsy was too nervous to speak.

 

When the bandage was gone, Eggsy kept his eyes closed. He felt like he was shaking all over again, but there was hope. He could tell there was light beyond his eyelids. With a slow, deep breath, he let his eyes ease open. The light of the room was intense after so long in the dark, and he squinted against it, wrinkling his nose.

 

“Fuck, it’s bright,” he complained without thinking. Then a smile cracked open on his face.”Fuck. It’s bright.”

 

His relief was turned and aimed at the man standing beside his bed, and he could see Harry. He could see him! All smile lines and soft eyes gazing fondly down at Eggsy. There were no Kingsman glasses to suggest anyone else was a part of this moment. His crisp suit and his perfect hair and everything about him was just beautiful. Eggsy drank in the sight of him, grateful he still had the option.

 

“As expected,” Harry murmured. “You’re too strong to let something like this stop you.”

 

Eggsy shut his eyes and groaned, turning his face away from Harry. “God, Harry. I need you to stop,” he said, though it hurt. “I’m just tryin’ to be good like I said I’d be, but I really can’t when you look at me like that.”

 

“Like what?” Harry asked, perplexed. Eggsy still didn’t face him, but he could imagine the confused knit of Harry’s brow and the way his eyebrows would draw low over his beautiful eyes.

 

“Jesus,” he cursed. “Like I’m important. I mean– No.” He looked quickly back at Harry, and the motion didn’t make him dizzy. Good. “I mean I know I’m important. I mean important _to you_.”

 

The look of concern on Harry’s face only grew worse and he put his hand over Eggsy’s once more, his thumb taking up its caressing again. “My dear.” He didn’t say ‘boy’, and now it was Eggsy drawing his forehead together in confusion. Harry’s free hand came to rest on Eggsy’s cheek. “You _are_ important to me.”

 

Something lodged itself in Eggsy’s throat. “S’not the same tho, issit?” he said, wishing it sounded less like he was about to burst into tears. He remembered his thoughts on the train, how he wished he and Harry could be normal. He didn’t want Harry to avoid him. “Shit. I’m _trying_ , Harry. I’m gonna be good. I wanted you to know. I’m not gonna bother you with it– with me. I–”

 

Harry bent low over the bed and pressed a kiss to Eggsy’s forehead, brushing his hair out of the way. All the wind had gone out of Eggsy, and he was left breathless. The caressing hand, the fond look, and now a kiss to the forehead. If Harry didn’t like Eggsy, why was he so determined to murder him with loving gestures? It hurt, damn it.

 

“I wanted to apologize,” Harry murmured, lips still hovering above Eggsy’s forehead. His breath blew through Eggsy’s bangs. “As soon as you walked out of my office, I wanted to hurry after you. But I told myself there was no hurry. You’d return in two days, and we could speak then. Of course, you defied expectations and nearly died on day one. I swear you’re trying to put me in an early grave.”

 

Eggsy laughed, short and harsh. “You? Harry, you’re killin’ _me_.” Stop being so loving, he wanted to shout, except that he wanted that feeling too much. It felt so good around the ache of being unrequited.

 

“Murdering you is not high on my list, as I do believe I am in love with you.” Harry finally leaned back so they could see eye to eye.

 

“B-But you said–,” Eggsy stuttered, not sure if it was his surgery or Harry making breathing so difficult.

 

“I know what I said, and I was wrong.” Harry glanced away, a small flush rising up his neck. “I was- I was scared, Eggsy. There are so many aspects of our relationship that made it so easy to write us off as illogical and inappropriate. I’m afraid I made myself very… well, afraid.”

 

His hand had not left Eggsy’s, and the younger man turned his hand over then to hold Harry’s. “Harry,” he said, then let out a snort. “You utter wanker. What’s there to be afraid of? I’ve already gone and told you how I felt.”

 

With a dubious eyebrow, Harry remarked, “Have you now? Funny. As I recall, you simply stated that you’d be terribly jealous of me sleeping with other people.”

 

“Well I fuckin’ love you,” Eggsy said, rectifying the situation. He wasn’t about to let Harry doubt it for a second. Fuck that. “How’s that for clarity?”

 

The small smile spreading on Harry’s face was like a sunrise to Eggsy. He felt weird and fuzzy in its presence. The older man bent low again, but this time over Eggsy’s face. “Well then I fucking love you too.” He hesitated in his approach. “I know you’re still in recovery, darling, but would you mind terribly if I kissed you?”

 

That got a real laugh out of Eggsy, though he winced afterword as it tugged on his stitches. “Of course I don’t fuckin’ mind,” he said. He tried to lift his head up to close the distance, but he didn’t realize how many chest muscles were involved in a motion like that, and he couldn’t do it.

 

But that was alright, wasn’t it?, because Harry had no such limitations, and he pressed their lips together. Eggsy wouldn’t mind this turning into a full snog fest, but Harry had standards, and he pulled away after just two chaste kisses. He did caress the side of Eggsy’s face, however, and that was good too.

 

“Shit, Harry.” He sighed. “I didn’t realize it would take dyin’ to get this far. I can’t imagine what I’ll hafta do for a good snog, or hell, a shag.”

 

Harry chuckled. “You needn’t go risking life and limb for such things. All you need do is ask.” Eggsy’s eyes must have looked as devilish as he felt all of a sudden, because Harry quickly added, “Once you’re all recovered, of course.”

 

“You take all the fun out of things,” Eggsy complained, but he didn’t mean it. He grinned up at Harry and squeezed the man’s hand. In a more somber tone, he added, “I was really scared there for a minute. Thought I’d never get to see you again.”

 

Harry squeezed back. “Unfortunately, this will just be part of our job descriptions – worrying the other won’t come back. But I’ve had a good scolding from a friend and a princess, and I believe I’m willing to take on such a burden.” He pressed his lips together for a moment. “Are you?”

 

“Every fuckin’ day,” Eggsy swore. “You think I’m crazy? I’m not lettin’ you go now.”

 

He got another smile for his trouble, and Eggsy knew he’d work every day for a smile like that.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to translate the fic into your language, read it as a podfic, create fanart, or whatever - just tell me about it so I can link it here <3


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